DIANA ADAMS: TED Talk on Chosen Families

CFLC's legislative work expanded to the West Coast in 2024:

Berkeley Passes Legal Protections for Polyamory, Joining Oakland

"Similar legislation passed in Oakland last month, spearheaded by Janani Ramachandran, the city’s first LGBTQ councilwoman of color. The votes are believed to be the first of their kind on the West Coast. In recent years, the Massachusetts cities of Somerville and Cambridge passed laws granting rights to nontraditional families . . . 

These laws raise awareness about the many forms of modern family and declares discrimination against them unacceptable and unlawful,” said Diana Adams, the executive director of Chosen Family Law Center. “That reduces stigma for us everywhere.”

https://slate.com/life/2024/05/polyamory-sexual-orientation-legal-protections.html

This Slate.com article discusses the recent laws protecting and supporting polyamorous families that CFLC has helped to pass in Massachusetts and California, and the movement to expand these rights nationwide.

https://www.thecut.com/article/sperm-donors-found-in-facebook-groups-fertility.html

"Diana Adams, an attorney in New York, has drafted hundreds of sperm-donation agreements over nearly two decades, typically among friends or acquaintances. Whether it’s a “godfather” or “special uncle” situation, Adams says there can be conflicts, hurt feelings, and kids left feeling abandoned when their trusted adults make changes to their relationships. “I’ve been involved in a number of the disputes that happen when people do not have a sperm-donation agreement,” she says. “Those situations can be fraught and dangerous for the children.” 

In this episode, Dan and Diana talk about the necessity to gain legal protections for poly folks, separate from the spiritual concept of matrimony. They answer a question from a man considering donating his sperm to an ex. And hear Dan try to score some free legal advice. 

CFLC Clients were featured in this Curbed Article on Platonic Life Partners, discussing their family and the work we did for them to create a plantonic CoParenting Agreement!

On this episode of the Savage Love podcast: His ex was upset when he got a new girlfriend—now he's got two girlfriends. His ex's opinion on polyamory wouldn't matter if they didn't have a small child together. What can he do? Diana Adams has some expert advice... 

Forbes.com: A surprising array of rights and benefits accrue to married couples in the U.S., including health care and health insurance, tax breaks, housing, and citizenship. Yet less than 18% of American adults today actually fit the mold of being in their first marriage living in a nuclear family with kids. How can we update our laws and normalize a wider array of family options? Ashoka’s Irene Milleiro caught up with Diana Adams, founder of the Chosen Family Law Center in New York City, to learn more. 

Diana Adams was a special guest for the Gay Sons & Mothers Mothers Who Inspire:  Honoring Queer & Chosen Mothers live event on April 15, 2024, and shared their journey as both a biological & chosen mother in the NYC queer community.    

More here:  https://www.rickmiller.biz/events/nejznssvr21pk949gxov8765k38cun

Our Senior Legal Director Andy Izenson moderated an online webinar for the ABA about creating more welcoming workplaces for nonbinary legal professionals!   

Check out the recorded webinar & trailblazing online guide here:   

"Creating More Welcoming Workplaces for Nonbinary Individuals | Practical Steps Towards Gender Inclusion in the Legal Profession"

Polyamory is getting slivers of legal recognition in America 

"...In October they held a commitment ceremony resembling a wedding …The arrangement has no legal weight as a marriage: every state bans bigamy or polygamy. So they signed a “no-nup”: a contract outlining alimony and child-care responsibilities in the event of a break-up or death among partners who were never legally married. Their lawyer, Diana Adams, notarised it with a “lovely stamp that goes ker-chunk”.  

Defining Nonbinary Work Wear

Andy Izenson, 34, the senior legal director of the Chosen Family Law Center in New York City, primarily considers the needs of clients when dressing for work.

Chosen Family: When Policies Don’t Include or Protect Us All

People without children, those who are single, and diverse families remain excluded from status quo economic and family policies. Further, economic models that drive the social status quo, force policies that are neither inclusive, nor do they meet the realities of the population. The needs of households for individuals and relationships, which include chosen family require the same level of rights and protection granted to traditional family structures and households. What can we do to advocate for policy that reflects inclusive and equitable needs for our communities?

Listen to the interview with Diana Adams or read the transcript here:

https://newlegacyinstitute.com/chosen-family-when-policies-dont-include-or-protect-us-all-guest-diana-adams

“LGBTQ people respond to Respect for Marriage Act”

"Is it perfect?  No."

Diana Adams shares concerns about Respect for Marriage Act passed in Nov 2022 - a necessary stop gap but dangerous potential expansion of religious freedom exemptions to marriage. Civil rights shouldn't have exemptions. 

Note that this article is behind a paywall.

How can we provide better care for non-traditional families?

For LGBTQIA and non-nuclear families, navigating the legal system and family benefits is difficult. Attorney Diana Adams says we need more inclusive laws that cater to all chosen families.

Three’s Company, Too: The Emergence of Polyamorous Partnership Ordinances

This Harvard Law Review piece includes 186 footnotes in the discussion of CFLC and PLAC's work in Massachusetts to expand the legal definition of family under the law and the legal strategies employed, with the conclusion that "Although domestic partnership ordinances like those in Somerville and Cambridge by no means represent the only option to decrease discrimination and stigma against CNM partners, they advance these objectives. Ordinances recognizing diverse relationship statuses also serve practical purposes such as improving outcomes in family law and healthcare. In fighting for access to domestic partnerships, advocates may change the way that courts, legislatures, and the broader public understand CNM." 

 "How Polyamorists and Polygamists Are Challenging Family Norms"

From opposite sides of the culture, parallel campaigns for legal recognition may soon make multiple-partner marriages as unremarkable as same-sex marriages. 

This New Yorker article by Andrew Solomon features our Senior Legal Director Andy Izenson and their family.

3-parent families are the new modern families

Diana Adams was interviewed on GMA about protecting kids by creating stable legal connection between them & their parents, even if those parents are third non-biological parents.

The Rise of the 3-Parent Family

"Diana Adams, the founder of Chosen Family Law Center, says that interest in this option has been growing over the past 15 years, spurred by the increasing acceptance of queer families and the popularity of assisted-reproduction technologies...  

Just as marriage provides benefits that cohabitation doesn’t, legal tri-parenting creates stability and rights that less formal arrangements lack. According to Adams, in tri-parenting arrangements that aren’t legally recognized, a break between the two legal parents might mean that the third parent can be denied access or custody to the child, even if they’ve always been an important and beloved part of the child’s life . . . For Adams, tri-parenting is a way of reclaiming the “diversity and beauty of the queer community.” When it comes to queer rights, the big fight of past decades has been to legalize gay marriage, which has been significant, but has also played into the narrative that the two-parent family is and should be the default structure. “That has taken away some of the power of being able to live radically queer lives without needing to fit into a capitalist, patriarchal structure of a nuclear family.” 

Legal Protections for People in Polyamorous Relationships  

"During her decades serving as a legal advocate for families of sex and gender minorities, Adams has witnessed what the lack of legal protections can do to families who are left vulnerable to stigma and discrimination. “All families deserve the support of legal stability and recognition, including the many polyamorous partners among our clients and communities. 

Many in polyamorous relationships will now benefit from health insurance coverage through their partners, which is essential especially in these times of COVID-19. Ultimately, we shouldn't need to depend upon our employers or relationships for health insurance, but while that is our American system, those in polyamorous relationships shouldn't lack health insurance coverage because some disapprove of their relationship configuration.”

While this small step towards legal protection is enforceable only within a highly localized area, it is nevertheless significant. When cities enact ordinances such as these at the local level, it can serve to inspire others to consider and perhaps even craft similar protections of their citizens. Adams concludes, “At Chosen Family Law Center, we plan to introduce similar domestic partnership ordinances in progressive cities, and welcome local advocates to get in touch for support and collaboration. Somerville is just the beginning of a movement for partnership protections for polyamorous and multi-parent families.” 

A Massachusetts City Decides to Recognize Polyamorous Relationships

The city of Somerville has broadened the definition of domestic partnership to include relationships between three or more adults, expanding access to health care.

"Andy Izenson, a lawyer with the Chosen Family Law Center, a nonprofit organization that provides legal services to polyamorous and other nontraditional families, said the ordinance could be put to a judicial test if health insurance companies reject the city’s more expansive definition of domestic partnership. It could also run into resistance from conservatives, as same-sex marriage did in 2015.  Or it could, as he put it, “fly under the radar . . .When one area does it, and it serves as a test case, and legislators see that the town or county has not had a culture war implosion,” he said, “that’s how things spread.”  

 https://vietnamtimes.org.vn/polyamory-new-trend-of-the-us-families-22073.html

Andy Izenson, a lawyer at Chosen Family Law Center, a nonprofit organization that provides legal services to polyamorous and other nontraditional families, said the ordinance could be put to a judicial test if health insurance companies reject the city’s more expansive definition of domestic partnership. It could also run into resistance from conservatives, as same-sex marriage did in 2015, according to New York Times.  

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/somerville-massachusetts-recognizes-polyamorous-relationships/

Andy Izenson, senior legal director of Chosen Family Law Center in New York, told the Journal that Somerville's ordinance is a step in the right direction.

"I think it's pretty amazing — strategies like this are the best chance we have of moving towards a legal understanding of family that's as comprehensive as it needs to be to serve all families," Izenson said. 

"I've seen a few other small-scale or local entities that have taken steps towards recognizing that relationships between adults are not only between two adults, but this is the first time I have seen this strategy brought to fruition."

https://www.ibtimes.com/massachusetts-city-council-unanimously-approves-polyamory-domestic-partnerships-3005273

Unmarried partners commonly run into legal problems because there is no legal framework to protect their rights. Chosen Family Law Center director Andy Izenson hailed Sommerville's ordinance.

"I think it's pretty amazing — strategies like this are the best chance we have of moving towards a legal understanding of family that's as comprehensive as it needs to be to serve all families," Izenson said.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2020/07/02/polyamory-massachusetts-city-somerville-relationships-us/5370718002/

Chosen Family Law Center's Senior Legal Director Andy Izenson told the Journal that he had never seen any town adopt such a broad policy.

“I think it’s pretty amazing – strategies like this are the best chance we have of moving towards a legal understanding of family that’s as comprehensive as it needs to be to serve all families,” Izenson said. “I’ve seen a few other small-scale or local entities that have taken steps towards recognizing that relationships between adults are not only between two adults, but this is the first time I have seen this strategy brought to fruition.”

https://www.boston.com/news/local-news/2020/07/02/somerville-votes-to-officially-recognize-polyamorous-relationships

Andy Izenson, a lawyer with the Chosen Family Law Center, a nonprofit organization that provides legal services to polyamorous families, said the ordinance could be put to a judicial test if health insurance companies reject the city’s more expansive definition of domestic partnership. It could also run into resistance from conservatives, as same-sex marriage did in 2015. 

Or it could, as he put it, “fly under the radar.”

“When one area does it, and it serves as a test case, and legislators see that the town or county has not had a culture war implosion,” he said, “that’s how things spread.”

https://www.wgbh.org/news/politics/2020/07/02/somerville-recognizes-polyamorous-and-other-multiple-adult-families

“The first civil unions were a really exciting turning point for people in same-sex couples,” she said. “And we’re now at that moment this week with polyamorous couples and other multi-adult families.”

Beyond being a step toward acceptance, it’s tough to know what the Somerville ordinance will mean from a legal standpoint for multiple-partner families, she said.

“This would define domestic partnership and extend rights that are similar to marriage just within Somerville, Massachusetts — which is fairly limited,” she said.

For example, Adams said city employees should now be able to extend health benefits to multiple domestic partners, but it’s unclear whether a private employer in Somerville would have to do the same.

Nevertheless, Adams said she believes this will be the start of a trend, and suspects other municipalities will soon follow Somerville’s lead.

 https://www.bostonglobe.com/2020/07/02/metro/somervilles-polyamory-ordinance-is-first-nation/

“The Somerville ordinance is an exciting turning point for people who are polyamorous or in multipartner families,” said Diana Adams, the executive director of the Chosen Family Law Center in New York. “There has been tremendous momentum and energy and hope for this for many years.”

https://www.bostonherald.com/2020/07/02/somerville-approves-polyamorous-relationship-policy-more-than-two-people-can-be-in-official-domestic-partnership/

“This has done something really amazing in the discourse of family relationships, and the possibilities that it has opened up,” said Andy Izenson of the Chosen Family Law Center, adding that the approved Somerville policy is the first such one to pass in the country.

“It’s really exciting,” Izenson said. “It’s the bottom-up community work like this that creates genuine social change and acceptance

https://somerville.wickedlocal.com/news/20200701/somerville-recognizes-polyamorous-domestic-partnerships  

"It’s the first time that family law attorney Andy Izenson has seen a municipality do anything like this. 'I think it’s pretty amazing – strategies like this are the best chance we have of moving towards a legal understanding of family that’s as comprehensive as it needs to be to serve all families,” said Izenson. “I’ve seen a few other small-scale or local entities that have taken steps towards recognizing that relationships between adults are not only between two adults, but this is the first time I have seen this strategy brought to fruition.'

Izenson noted states recognizing third-parent adoptions as action that is close to offering broader rights to families, but pointed out that most gains in “marriage equality” have all been carefully defined as between two people.

'. . .There are two kinds of legal advocacy: the bottom-up kind and the top-down kind,” they said. “Top-down meaning law that comes from the Supreme Court...which, in terms of day-to-day life is more reflective of culture change than leading the way. This type of bottom-up work – local people making policy regarding their neighbors – that’s the sort of thing that’s not only reflective of a culture shift, but a shift towards acceptance and support of a broader variety of families.'” 

In October 2019, Diana Adams was interviewed about our legal practice as part of a CBSN Originals 23-minute documentary on consensually non-monogamous partnerships and families: Speaking Frankly: Non-monogamy.  

Following that, Diana had a one-on-one interview with CBS news anchor Tanya Rivero to more fully discuss the challenges for non-monogamous and LGBTQ+ families, including child custody, immigration and health insurance. 

You can view that interview here: Diana Adams on “Legal Hurdles in Non-Monogamous Relationships”